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PERRIN LOVETT

~ Deo Vindice

PERRIN LOVETT

Category Archives: Other Columns

Columns concerning any and everything. Enjoy!

Farewell to the Steward of Middle Earth

17 Friday Jan 2020

Posted by perrinlovett in News and Notes, Other Columns

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Christopher Tolkien, literature, Middle Earth, RIP

We lost a literary titan.

It is with great sadness that we can confirm that Tolkien’s son and literary executor Christopher Tolkien has died aged 95.

Christopher was born in Leeds, United Kingdom, on 21 November 1924. After a childhood in Oxford, he joined the RAF during the Second World War and was stationed to South Africa. After the war, he finished his studies and became a lecturer in Old and Middle English as well as Old Icelandic at the University of Oxford. After his father’s death in 1973, he became the literary executor of the Tolkien Estate and went on to edit and publish his father’s unpublished material starting with The Silmarillion in 1977 and ending with The Fall of Gondolin in 2018.

Upon hearing the news, Tolkien Society Chair, Shaun Gunner, said:

All of us in the Tolkien Society will share in the sadness at the news of Christopher Tolkien’s death, and we send our condolences to Baillie, Simon, Adam, Rachel and the whole Tolkien family at this difficult time. Christopher’s commitment to his father’s works have seen dozens of publications released, and his own work as an academic in Oxford demonstrates his ability and skill as a scholar. Millions of people around the world will be forever grateful to Christopher for bringing us The Silmarillion, The Children of Húrin, The History of Middle-earth series and many others. We have lost a titan and he will be sorely missed.

Those of us who remain in and of The West owe this man and his legacy a debt that can’t even be calculated. My previous thoughts on Mr. Tolkien:

“Here, I pause to credit the masterful dedication of Christopher T. in revising, editing, and publishing so much we would otherwise miss. He says, and I believe him, that this is his finale. Then again, he hinted as much when Beren hit the shelves. If this is his end, the end of 70+ year tenure as vice-regent of Middle Earth, so to speak, he’s more than earned the retirement (and all the honor and gratitude we can heap on him). Thank you, Sir!” – TPC, Dec. 2018

“Some of you have read perhaps the short version of the story in the Silmarillion. From that work also came The Children of Hurin, which was released ten years prior to B&L. Christopher Tolkien’s editing and narration skills have increased dramatically since 1977 (and I never shared the contemporary criticism of his work, then). This book will be excellent.” – PL.me, June 2017

There was, in the seventies and early eighties, a narrow sentiment that Christopher had somehow “botched” the editing of the later works. Nothing was or could be further from the truth. But for his dedication we would still be ignorant of so much that lay behind the Hobbits.

Vox Day’s Tribute.

In happier news, the Inklings have reconvened, in full, once again in loftier accommodation.

Senda.

Post 3,000

15 Wednesday Jan 2020

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns, Uncategorized

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3000 posts!, blog, blog history, fiction, writing

3,000! THREE THOUSAND posts since the blog began back in 2012. I’ve been running a little hard lately. In the near term, I may slow just a hair to concentrate on some projects, but folks, we’re only just warming up, here.

This report came in on Monday:

Screenshot 2020-01-13 at 6.23.06 PM

4 Million words in 20.5 months. That’s a little high – it’s probable that the total accounts for many articles, etc. that were checked at least twice. Still, I’d estimate it’s really more like 2 Million, or roughly 97,500 per month, 3,200 words a day. That’s about right. I average in the top 2-3% of users for volume and for unique words. Mistakes too, as many of you know.

Anyway, this is 3,000. No. 2,999 was about Amazon publishing:

Screenshot 2020-01-15 at 10.02.13 AM

Know idea what’s up next. Rest assured, you will read it here. More to come!

Screenshot 2020-01-15 at 10.10.50 AM

And, Thank You, All! – P

In Good Company

15 Wednesday Jan 2020

Posted by perrinlovett in News and Notes, Other Columns

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Amazon, books, Dean Koontz, fiction, publishing

There’s something to the trend of Amazon both publishing and selling books, particularly fiction. My debut novel is doing okay, and apparently making waves now, but I’m not in the league of Amazon’s latest super author, Dean Koontz.

When Dean Koontz’s book contract expired last year, his stature as one of the country’s top-selling authors made him a hot target for several major publishing houses. He chose Amazon.com Inc. AMZN -1.16%

It was a surprising move because it means his new books likely won’t appear in retail stores, which generally boycott Amazon AMZN -1.16% -published titles. But Mr. Koontz is banking on Amazon’s vast retail machine to get his work to readers, whether in physical or digital formats.

“Maybe I won’t be in some stores or make the New York Times best-seller list, but I’m willing to take that risk and I think we’ll sell more books in all formats,” Mr. Koontz said.

Amazon dominates the U.S. book-retail market—accounting for over half of all new books sold in October, according to research firm Codex Group—but it is also a force as a book publisher. Signing up blue-chip authors like Mr. Koontz could make the tech giant an even more formidable threat to the traditional industry, led by publishing houses such as Penguin Random House, which is controlled by Germany’s Bertelsmann SE, ViacomCBS Inc.’s Simon & Schuster and HarperCollins Publishers, which is owned by Wall Street Journal parent News Corp.

Mr. Koontz’s first novel for Amazon is expected to publish March 31. He already has published a collection of short stories, “Nameless,” that generated over a million downloads in the first month after its debut last November. The stories are available only as e-books and audiobooks.

Mr. Koontz, whose over 100 books include hits like “Odd Thomas” and “Watchers,” isn’t the only high-profile writer Amazon Publishing has snared. In 2018, Patricia Cornwell signed a two-book deal; the first novel, “Quantum,” was published last October and enjoyed brisk downloads despite poor reviews. Both Mr. Koontz and Ms. Cornwell are in the top 25 of all currently published U.S. adult fiction writers, as measured by the size of their most dedicated fan bases, according to consumer surveys by Codex.

I am not in the, uh, top 20. But, getting there! (?) A million sales in the first month; I think I could handle that. Go Koontz!

Under the Omnibus – from TPC

14 Tuesday Jan 2020

Posted by perrinlovett in Legal/Political Columns, News and Notes, Other Columns

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Etc., evil, Iran, lies, taxes, TPC, War

Under the Omnibus

Your insane President, when he’s not murdering known diplomats, enjoys signing garbage legislation from the criminal Congress. Last month, at the urging of Bitch McConnell and the other reprobates, The Trump cheerfully signed into law a poorly-cobbled amalgamation of a spending bill. The Empire doesn’t do full budgets anymore, so it’s only $1.37 Trillion at a sad time – generally once per quarter. But the embarrassing expense of evil comes with other costs. The new law also raised the age for purchasing cigars and other tobacco products to 21. And, thank God! Now, I can finally enjoy a smoke without all those damned pesky toddlers roaming around the lounge crying and exchanging germs (sorry, Bess, what they do). The ban, as you may know, is plainly authorized by the Zeroth Amendment of the US Cornsternation.

Tweeted The Trump: “Our beautiful, beautiful children. So much smoke. IRAN WILL NEVER ROLL A CIGAR. My watch. SO SAD. Obama did it too. Yuuge. MIGA.” Ketchup on a well-done steak.

My tobacconist buddy’s new warning sign. Humorous dissent is, for now, still legal.

Building on this trend of creeping incrementalism, a sarcastic state senator in Vermont, John Rodgers, whom I’d kind of like to meet, introduced a bill to ban “children” under the age of 21 from owning or using cellular mind control and tracking devices. Rodgers noted that he wouldn’t even vote for the change himself, stating that he introduced it to make a point. “The kids” can’t buy smokes or beer. Why let them dull their minds and risk their lives sexting and driving? I might suggest a rider to raise the driving age as well.

Mr. Rodgers: please keep this one in your neighborhood. Should Trump, Pelosi, and the other shits get wind of it, they may well try to federalize the concept. I’m sure the CIA-OPA could quickly conjure up a convincing B-movie-like video showing some paid actors trashing an embassy or something because Iran wants to cellularize our youth. My only hope is that they would still allow 5G to proceed apace; in addition to the wonderful biological benefits you’ll soon experience from the well-tested super-duper-micro-hyper waves, you just wouldn’t believe what else they will enable. But, you will.

Anyway, all this got me thinking. Some few of you from time to time murmur that you oppose big government. Yet and still, later this year, you’ll rush right out and cast your votes to keep it around. So be it. I’m here to help, really. The other week, for the first time in my life, I proposed a tax – for the children! Now, I have another idea.

…

READ THE WHOLE THING HERE

This Girl on the Drums

14 Tuesday Jan 2020

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

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drums, music, rock and roll, this girl on the drums

Like Rock on the piano, there’s this young lady – covering rock tunes like a pro!

Check it. Go, gurl!

Monday Morning Laughs and Learning

13 Monday Jan 2020

Posted by perrinlovett in News and Notes, Other Columns

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college, Comics, education, France

I forgot to mention this when it happened a little while back: I have adjusted my big mandatory four daily comic strips. I switched out Get Fuzzy for Dustin. It’s now:

Garfield;

Pearls;

Dustin; and

Dilbert

Not that big a deal. I still read Fuzzy from time to time along with some others. It’s just that without any new strips in, what(?), a year or three, they were getting a bit old.

In other news, as a full-time meddler and part-time Francophile, I discovered – not at all to my surprise – that the annual tuition at a very good French state university costs about the same as, maybe even a little less than, my QUARTERLY tuition at UGA almost thirty years ago (ouch!). Yes, there are subsidies. They opted for an educated citizenry without a student loan usury crisis. Yet somehow they still manage to have long vacations, first-class highways, skyscrapers, GUNS (yes), nuclear-powered and armed warships, and a France that’s still, grabblers’ antics aside, almost 95% French. But hey, we got us freedom fries, right?!

Ye Old TPC Omnibus Preview

12 Sunday Jan 2020

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

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TPC

This week I shall tackle Iran (hopefully, the last time for a while) along with taxes, the election, cigars, and more. Stay tuned!

French lesson of the week: Je suis romancier.

The Magic Dissolving Library

11 Saturday Jan 2020

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

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Andover, books, decline, education, libraries, schools, society

Phillips Andover ran a piece to celebrate their centuries-old interest in books.

Take a gander at The Libraries of Andover. Look at the pictures; they tell a story.

1) The buildings get bigger and nicer as the years pass.

2) Per volume, there are fewer and fewer books. By 2019, they have vast open spaces, full of beanbags and model airplanes, with a small selection of titles strewn here and there.

3) The students used to look like students. Now, they look like a) they just rolled out of homeless shelters, b) they’re on spring break, or c) they’re ready to cruise the red light district.

Mind you, that this is ANDOVER, the nation’s preeminent private school. The pattern repeats at public “schools,” colleges, and community libraries across the country. B&N is a coffee shop with a toy store attached. This all rather angers someone who writes books. Nice pictures though.

Warriors’ Respect: An Acquaintance Remembered – Ironsides Fiction

10 Friday Jan 2020

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

fiction, Iran, short story, Tom Ironsides, War

Warriors’ Respect: An Acquaintance Remembered

[Current Events Fiction]CLICK4PDF]

 

Six Pence Pub, Blowing Rock, NC, Tuesday, January 7, 2020, Evening…

 

He sat at the bar, almost wincing as the fool next to him ignorantly pontificated. What had started as a friendly “how ya’ doing, fella?” had morphed into a boring diatribe about brine and snow. Now, the geo-political malarkey deepened. 

‘That thar boy was a murderous thug! He was a-plannin’ mo’ of them em-i-nent attacks. He alreddy dun kilt that thar ‘Murican soldiers and attacked our embassy with his militias. Cain’t have no more hostages from them Irans! Trump had to kill that boy and we dun did it! Ain’t nothing them tarrists can a do bout it now. Ha! But I’d love to see ‘em try. Wouldn’t you, buddy? We whoop they azz-’ His new friend, some fat, balding boomer, allegedly in town to sell the city road salt, babbled incessantly while pointing to the television news, featuring a dull rehash about a Tweet about the assassination.

‘Excuse me,’ Tom politely interjected, ‘But you’re a fucking idiot. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Please keep your profound stupidity to yourself. Thanks, buddy.’

‘I dun seen it all on tha news! Hannity, and Limbaugh, and good ole Binny Shapiru!’ The man exclaimed, taken aback as indignation strove against his copious alcohol consumption. 

‘Everything you’ve heard, I won’t say read, is a lie,’ Tom instructed. ‘Everything you just blathered out, while it would certainly please the ears of your controllers, is utter horseshit. You wouldn’t know a terrorist from a Saint. Please, do shut up.’

The obese man sat stunned before his belligerence overcame his shock. ‘You- Well, fuck you, mister! You’se a liberal! I knew it! I sits down and sez to muhself, “I hope this feller ain’t no faggot.” But, shore as the Pope worships Mary, you is! You talks to me like that again and I whoop yo azz, fag! I dun served in Vietnam. The jungle! You probably a draft dodger or somethin’. Lemme tell you whut we dun did to-’

Tom listened for a minute more, grinning and quietly flipping through his phone. When bubba paused to gasp for air, Tom turned and showed him a picture of Carmyn licking his face at a party. ‘That’s my girlfriend. She’s an actress. You probably used to jack off to her. You know, back when it still worked, I guess.’

The tubby retard, still gasping and now red in the face, turned it up a notch. He most unwisely grabbed Tom’s free arm near the wrist and pulled in closer, imparting some of his beer and garlic-scented breath. ‘Smart azz, huh?! I’m bout reddy ta hit yo purdy mouth, boy!’

Without breaking his concentration on his phone, Tom quickly reversed gripped the man’s flabby forearm and wrenched hard, cranking his elbow into a painfully awkward wrong-way bend. The man’s squeal was met with a “shhhh” as Tom rolled to another, older picture. He held it up to his buddy’s face. ‘And, this is me and General Soleimani, uh, the murderous thug. Back in 2001, in Afghanistan, when we were fighting the Taliban together, excuse me, fighting them thar tarrists.’ Releasing his grip and still being mostly polite, he tried to explain just a little of the unkind world to the loud drunk.

 

Hotel Romandy, Geneva, Switzerland, Sunday, September 23, 2001, Late…

 

A somber, sinister group of men walked through the terrace seating area outside the conference room, headed towards the bar. Two tarried behind the others, the two most dangerous-looking characters of the company. It was the admittedly tenuous beginning of a delicate working relationship. On that occasion, without any coordination, they were attired in understated fashion rather than suits or uniforms, both happened to be wearing black leather jackets. Tom thought of some way to soften the mood. He got an idea from glancing at the mountains surrounding the city, now illuminated beautifully by the waxing moon.

‘I’d really like to visit your country properly, General,’ he began slowly. ‘I’d love to ski up north of Tehran. Maybe Darband or Abali, isn’t it?’

Qasem Soleimani was as gracious as he was deadly. ‘I myself am more fond of the area even further north, around Alvares, which you may know, is also near to the Caspian. Of course, if all goes – I won’t call it well – you and I could cross the border back into Persia and visit Shirbad. It’s just west of Herat, where we may have some … business. Wonderful snows.

‘I know this must feel a little off, Colonel. You’ve been to Iran previously. We have a rather extensive dossier on you. Kill on sight orders, in fact. Uh, those I have, of course, belayed for the time being. You know, we missed each other a few years ago. These are, I must admit, better circumstances.’

‘Have you ever skied in America, General?’ Tom asked while thinking about, almost rueing his last vicious visit to Iran.

‘The White Mountains. Ages ago, before the revolution. It was, for me at the time, the chance getaway of a lifetime. My family had so little money; it was a great luxury.’ The man laughed at the faded memory. ‘If I remember right, that’s your, what you call,  neck of the woods, no?’

‘Well, we might have missed each other then too.’ Tom said and chuckled at the smallness of the world. ‘Maybe some things are best left on the powder.’

‘Undoubtedly, they are. Now, soon our men will need to- Oh, we’re stopping again.’

Following a few perfunctory words with Crocker and the departing team from State, the lethal pair eased up to the bar, alone for the first time.

‘You’ll need to help me, Mister Ironsides, but Glen-mor-angie – the Scottish is always a jaw-breaker for me.’ The General studied the bottles on the shelf behind the bar, pointing to one.

‘Well, I didn’t know you guys partook of the single malt! Excellent choice though.’ Tom said.

‘Social settings and good company sometimes require good liquor. Allah is merciful, most forgiving at times and of good causes.’ The General studied a bottle closer.

‘And an interesting choice of words. Jawbreaker is our callsign for the initial operation.’ Tom said while trying to read a label.

‘I know. We’re not so completely in the dark.’ Soleimani said with a smirk.

‘Well then, know that we’ll be inserting, likely on Wednesday night. I’ll be there with the SADs and the Deltas. Who can I expect from your Quds? Maybe someone else willing to overlook past indiscretions, I’d hope.’ Tom did look a little hopeful.

‘I should be able to join you and our men later. For now, immediately, look for my-’

The men talked and drank deep into the night. Plans were made, logistics explored. Soleimani was, as promised, a walking encyclopedia of the terrain, the local tendencies, and the ways of the enemy. They shared multiple strategies and a few misgivings. They talked about Hammurabi, Solon, and Caesar. They spoke of family relationships, of children, spouses, and parents. On matters of state and religion, they agreed and they agreed to disagree. A tedious friendship was born. Respect flowed haltingly with a burn like the whiskey. They did, in fact, meet again twice – once soon after in the hills of Afghanistan and once years later in Baghdad during a meeting that Washington denied ever happened. However, they never did rendezvous on the slopes. Even after his retirement, Tom followed the general’s quest to defeat ISIS in Iran, Iraq, and Syria. A worthy defender of his nation and people, he thought Soleimani. He’d cursed the administration aloud the week before when he’d heard the news of what he considered plain murder and a despicable war crime.

 

Back in Blowing Rock, another bar…

 

‘So, just shut up about it, already,’ Tom said at last. He was finished with his unheeded educational lecture and was now checking his email and something else. His new friend still didn’t grasp any of what he’d heard.

‘All that thar tells me is that you’se one a them tarrists! And, whut do you know, you lying shit?!’ The dim visitor demanded.

‘I know the shit is already hitting the fan,’ Tom said as he again presented his phone. ‘Watch this.’

‘Whut in tha hell that is?!’

‘That is live satellite feed from over Iraq, over Ain al-Asad Air Base. You said you’d love to see them try. Well, they’re trying right now. The news up there will have it in an hour or so once Langley puts the right spin on it. Watch now if you’d like the uncensored version.’

‘Whut am I a watchin’??’ The tubby man growled as he squinted at the little screen.

‘Those flashes are missile impacts. Probably Qiams or Fateh-one-tens. Latest generation guidance. Extremely accurate. Pinpoint, I’d say. Right now, every time one flashes, they’re hitting our hardware. I’d guess they’re knocking out the drone hangers, the smaller ones clumped here and there, center. That base is where the strike last week came from. Makes sense. What I would do.’

‘Whut you’d do?! I know you. You’se a Democrat or something! Love nuthin’ better than helpin’ yo tarrists friends, huh? Stand up! I’m bout to beat some sense into yo liberal azz!’

‘No, you’re not.’ Tom said, looking down at his glass.

‘I’m a-gonna do it!’

‘No. You can’t. Sorry.’

‘And, YOU’RE DONE, sir!’ yelled the pretty bartender at the heavy, sweaty, woefully-overmatched moron. ‘You don’t know what you’re messing with, with this one.’ She gave Tom, who was unconcernedly addressing his Oban, a wink. To the fat drunk, she instructed: ‘Before you get yourself killed, get out! Don’t come back. Now!’

Tubby mumbled something about a town full of queers and sympathizers and shuffled angrily out into the light evening snow.

‘That fat bastard didn’t even leave a tip!’ The barmaid announced with a hint of regret.

‘I got it. Mine too, in a minute,’ Tom replied.

‘So, professor, is this World War Three?’ The young woman asked with slight concern in her voice.

‘No. Don’t be too alarmed, darling. It’ll all blow over, for now,’ Tom reassured. ‘It’s not world war, unless something utterly stupid gives way between now and morning. This was, is a very measured response. Making a point or two. They’ll be done in a few minutes, although CENTCOM just registered something odd on domestic air radar around Tehran – probably nothing. The missiles are a show of force, directed at our equipment, not our men. Neither has any business being in-country anyway. Maybe this is the beginning of a withdrawal. Hell, I’ll have my last toast to that. That, and Qasem. Maybe not the best man – none of us were – but maybe the one his people needed. Salute!’

After paying off his tab and leaving two tips, Tom mosied outside. From the sidewalk on Main, he heard the old jungle fighter yelling incoherently from down the street. Gotta give that one credit for persistence, Tom thought as he raised a one-fingered salute over his shoulder. Next, he heard a city police officer ordering the old drunk off. He slowly walked on towards his little rental flat. It was getting cold. His phone rang. Carmyn was watching the breaking news. He soothed her nerves and thanked her for a lick while requesting another at her earliest convenience. Just before he reached his door, Vicky called. He was calming her fears as he walked into the living room, where Ari and Maddie were waiting with the television blaring. Upon hanging up, he directed his placidity to them, first asking them to turn off the tube. 

‘Uncle Tommy, do you know what’s going on?’ Ari pressed.

‘Yes. That foolishness on the talking screen is only more propaganda bullshit. Some ancient Greek once said, “Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad.” Some say it was Euripides, though I’m not so sure. Anyway, watch that stuff and you will go as mad as your President and the Iranians. What it’s designed for. Maybe Qasem was mad to go in like he did, to keep this up for so long. No, we’ve all of us got enough madness.’

‘What are you talking about, Tom?’ Maddie asked as she turned off the set. ‘We know you have to know A LOT about what’s behind all this.’

Tom was tired and tried to move towards his room, several wistful thoughts plaguing his mind. ‘Goodnight, girls. Of the business behind it all, I know more than I care to repeat this evening. Respect for the dead.’

A Little Soothing Work Music

10 Friday Jan 2020

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

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music

Happen Friday!

Some tunes, in two videos, suitable for reading, work, school, or cigar enjoyment.

Sure that’s what the kids are ear-budding these days.

Anyway, may have a little Tom Ironsides’ current affairs along later.

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