Amerikan newspapers are now officially dead. For years, the only valid reason for picking up one of these otherwise useless fish-wrappers was to peruse the comics section, especially on Sundays. That, now, is a thing of the past.

Recently and by chance, I noticed an omission in a Sunday Hagar panel, wherein two frames (the first two) were missing. Today I ran a test with the print edition of a newspaper, which again is dead and thus needs not be named, and confirmed the horror. The following series were illicitly truncated:

• Blondie
• Hagar the Horrible
• Garfield
• Hi and Lois

I’m sure this happens in multiple papers across the dying police state. Why? I suspect two reasons: 1) continuing suicidal thrift from the editors, and; 2) a state of growing illiteracy that now prevents the average Amerikan from comprehending the antics of a Viking Raider or an anthropomorphic cat.

For future comics needs, merely search field the title, or turn to Go Comics, ArcaMax, or Comics Kingdom. Yes, it’s a new low, but one we can move past – for now.